First things first. The inner workings of relationships between men and women are very complex. There are no doubts about that. For example, (generally) women want to be nurtured and cuddled in order to want to have sex, and men (generally) want to have that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes after sex to be nurturing and cuddly. Is a never-ending circle that has no easy solution. This article will attempt to look into that issue and help us understand ourselves a little more thoroughly.
There are chemicals in our brain that create our sensual and sexual feelings. But sex can represent a beautiful act of love that can’t even be put into words, or it can be very destructive. Let’s look at how this may apply to a newer relationship, and how it applies to an existing long-term relationship.
Usually after dating a short time, you go out and get to know each other, then after a short time, you end up on someone’s couch or car, kissing and heavy petting. This sends a message to our brain. Once this happens, there are particular chemicals that are released to prepare for the fun that is about to ensue. These chemicals are as powerful as any other man made substances. They force us to start thinking with our sex organs instead of our brains. If that couch turns into an adult video, the next day we may find ourselves saying “I don’t know, it just happened so fast!”.
To see how these chemicals really work, let’s consider if you had sex the first night. It is very easy to be tempted into this. The next morning, you usually regret what you did last night. You then realize, you probably won’t be building a rewarding long-term partnership that way. If you want more than this, you should make an effort to just stay away from those situations. As we said before, the chemicals can “disable” your brain.
Sex can be an amazing and beautiful experience can also be a powerful experience that strengthens your relationship. We have the beautiful gift of sex to show our partner the ultimate gifts of unselfishness, kindness, and love. Let’s look at some topics you will need to communicate about in order to have an excellent sexual relationship.
Will we be monogamous?
Have you been tested for STD’s?
What about birth control?
Did you want to have children / Can you have children?
What does sex mean to you? Are there any “expectations”?
Do we respect sex? Unhealthy sexual conduct is not respectful of yourself.
Communication of all aspects is critical. Always talk.
What are your expectations if it is your first time?
Any issues with past experiences?
Just make sure you communicate. Communication in any relationship is the top priority. Without it, it will be doomed to fail. From just dating, to the 19-year marriage, without communication, nothing will save it. Define and lay out your expectations, listen and understand hers, and meet in the middle. That is the way to any healthy relationship.